Sometimes I don't think I can do this anymore....

I about lost it.  Sometimes I don't think I can live in a camper anymore.  I don't have these days very often.  Just every now and then.  If I can get through those moments, hours, or days, I will be fine.  Endurance....it is very hard sometimes.

It has been two years on the road now.  Traveling has been wonderful, yet I miss having a home sometimes. 

Trying to get all of our stuff, for eight people, and live in a 8'X42' box is so hard.  I have been working at it for over two years, from when we bought our camper.  About two weeks ago, I walked into our back room and said, "I give up, it is impossible. Eight people cannot live in 42'.  So, it can be messy, cluttered, and some things can break, and I'm ok with that."  I can't fix it.  I try and try.  I purchase different storage shelves, change things around, pack up some items while purchasing others all in an effort to make our life better in this home on wheels.  I finally realized that no matter what I do, I cannot do it!  It is actually a good place to be, in my heart that is.  I spend too much time trying to live in an impossible situation. 

I have found that in my moments of greatest weakness, God moves the most.  When I am trying to fix, change, manage, and do, I tend to fail at some level if not all levels.  Am I saying that I don't have to do anything?  God will sort my laundry and change diapers?  No, I am talking about my striving and having no peace in the midst of such abundant blessings.  Yes, I am preaching to myself right now.  It is so easy to get caught up in the here and now, the immediate need of the moment and lose the eternal value of the day.

My one year old tried to go in the back room two days ago.  He couldn't even walk because of all the "stuff".  It is all really wonderful "stuff" mind you, but still too much of it!  If we had a house, it wouldn't be much at all.  In a camper, not much is a whole lot of "stuff".  I lost it.  That is it!  Walmart was my destination and nothing would stop me.  I bravely jumped in the van with my 17 year old son and 1 year old son.  Everyone could sense that mama had reached the end.  I bought a bunch of plastic containers of all sizes, crammed them in the van and headed back, after paying of course.

Everyone had to sort, again, and try to take out as much as possible.  One of the main reasons we sold our home and gave away or sold most of what we owned was so we would not be so bound to material things.  Yet, here we are, once again, spending all of our time maintaining our "stuff". 

NO MORE!

I have to admit, it was not easy.  It was like I was packing away some of my dreams.  I thought that I would have more time to paint, draw, craft, sew, cook, etc, with my kids.  I brought lots of projects I had hoped to finally get done, thinking I would have more time.  This is not the case.  So, as quickly as possible, I passed the boxes to Cody, who crammed them in the van.  It was a lot of hard work for everyone, and sad in some respects. 

I know, though. all those things are just things.  I want to see my kids hike mountains, kayak rivers, meet amazing people, learn the history of this wonderful country. 

We will do those projects some day...or not....

But, I do know that I am ok...my kids are ok....and the earth will still revolve with out all of our "stuff".

Sorting the camper and taking a break

Thank goodness the worst is over.  I can't believe how much stuff we had crammed in 42 feet.  Bad news is that we filled our storage trailer.  We have had to stuff boxes in my mom's attic.  She has been so great to let us do that.

Traveling full time can get exhausting.  We have hardly gone anywhere the last five weeks.  It is nice to just park it for a while. 

We have decided to wait to buy some land for a home base.  We do want to keep traveling, but would like a piece of property to come back to.  But, at this time, we decided it is not right for us.  My husband told me he is concerned about his job.  His company is very successful, but might have to lay some people off this fall if a few things don't change.  He has had two job offers recently and turned them down, so I hope that if he does get layed off, there will still be some opportunity there for him.

Of course, he would love to write about ATVs and ride them for a living.   Cody is doing great with his writing for the ATV Magazine Blog.  We are so proud of him and hope some doors open up there.

We still don't have a clue where we are going next.  We have narrowed it down to North, South, or West. 
Guess that is still pretty vague...ha ha ha

One of the reasons we did this trip was because we felt that our possessions were holding us back from doing the things we needed to.  But, I feel like we may have missed out on visiting some dear people while back in Missouri because we had to sort out so much stuff.  Of course, it takes extra long to do anything with six kids and one being a baby!  After all of this work, we are going to go have some serious fun and do some visiting.

Maybe we'll come see you next!

Almost done sorting....where do we go next?

It is hard to believe it has taken me so long to sort all of this.  I spent last Saturday digging through the front part of our storage trailer.  I had to move a few boxes and then slide my body on top of all of the others to the middle of the camper.  I was looking for some dolls Naomi wanted, our collection of GA Henty books, dinosaur catcher cars, and a box of my christian cds that had been accidentally packed two yrs ago.  Well, I found a lot of things and didn't find others. 

Shae moved the storage trailer to a new parking spot, not in our friend's cow pasture anymore.  He had a bugger of a time getting it around the corner.  He made it, but put a hole in our trailer and ripped part of a gutter in the process.  Now, if you know my husband, you know that he is a motor guy and can drive any vehicle anywhere.  So, I know he did an amazing job getting it in that tight spot.  He fixed the hole and the gutter easily, too.  We are so thankful to park it where we did, it will be much easier to get to.

I have great news, the VA accepted me for health care!  I will have to make a co payment probably, but that is alright.  I'm thankful to have that available to me.

Now, we are not sure where we are going next.  It is always hard to decide.  We have to think pretty long term.  With six kids we tend to travel very short distances and only on the weekends.  Shae has to work during the week on his laptop, so we try to move only on Saturday or Sunday.

We are watching the temperatures and realize our camper only has one air conditioner, so it is really hard to keep cool in blistering heat.  We may have to head north soon, but we'll see.  I don't want to go to far out of Missouri.  I need to slow down our trip a lot.  We need to move less and stay places longer for a while.  I think we are all a little wore out.

I better get to bed.

Sheri

Leaving an area after a long stay.

Wow, I had no idea what the limit was on stuff crammed in this 42' camper, now I know!  I still am not totally sure how I will fit everything back in, but I will.  We have been in Phoenix for four months now and we sure have accumulated stuff.  The problem is that I want to keep it all.  People say, well if you bring something in you have to take something out.  I don't want to take anything out!  I just need about 10 more feet, but I can't have it.  So, I will cram it all in and work our way back to Missouri.  When we get there, we will unload a bunch into our storage trailer.  I did make a deal with Shae that if I can keep the front 2/3 of the camper uncluttered and clean, I can clutter the back all I need to.  Now, I can't help but think, "How on earth does he expect me to not have the camper cluttered with eight people in it and all of our homeschool stuff and everything we need for any kind of weather or activity for eight people, (I know I already said that, but it is an important number!)"  So, the other day I uncluttered everything I could and crammed it in boxes in the back corner in our toyhauler garage/kids area.  It is not pretty, but it works.

Leaving Harvest Church in Glendale, AZ after 4 months of volunteer work.