Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Government shut down sends us on the road again with a humbled heart

With the government shut down we are officially homeless.  Our home was in a camper parked at a National Forest Campground.  Thankfully, we can hook it up to our truck and move to another great place. 

We had just talked with the district Ranger and she gave us permission to keep working for two more months.  It is a wonderful campsite and great people to work for.  Only days later we got the news that we had 41 hours to vacate.  Usually it takes me a week to prepare after camping in one spot for so long so it was quite challenging.  I thought to myself, how would Washington like it if they had 41 hours to leave their home and have the electric and water shut off in 41 hours?  I don’t blame the National Forest Service, they have been amazing to work for and with.  They are also suffering, much worse than us.

I have to admit, though, I am not used to working outside the home and for other people.  I got out of the Navy in 1994 and have only done a few things to earn money since.  The office politics and dealing with work problems have been quite difficult for me.  I am called to be a wife and a mother and when I stepped outside of that calling I sure had a hard time. 

Shae and Hanna did over half the work, but I still had to do a lot.  I dealt mostly with the people, which is normally wonderful as we love the people that come there.  I didn’t realize that there would be so many problems, though. 

I failed so many times.  If I could go back I would make different choices – often.  

Why did I fail so miserably? 

God had me there to cause me to grow and show the sin in my heart, among other reasons.  I know that He didn’t want me to fail; He wanted me to learn and change.  I know He has plans for me and sometimes the hidden faults and sins hold us back from His perfect will.
It is a difficult and uncomfortable process to have those sins exposed and confronted. 
I could now continue and share with you all the wonderful things that happened at the campground and how there are so many good things that our family experienced that I cannot even count them.  But, that would diminish the seriousness of my sin.  It would say, yes I was wrong but oh well, focus on the good things I did.  I think God wants us to focus on our sin, when it is revealed, and work to overcome it with His help.  At that point I can remember the good and the right choices I made, which were also by God’s grace.

I will share the good in another post.  For now, I apologize for the bad choices I made and hope that I can overcome and move forward.  I will put the past behind and remember today is a new day.  I have learned from the past and with God’s help I will not make the same mistakes again.

Moving forward to the higher call and shaking of the sin that would so easily ensnare me.

If we chose to go back when the government starts working again, it will be a new day, a new me, and a humbled heart.

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